Gratefully Vigilant

Gratitude

Early in recovery, there came to me a burning desire to share with others what amazing things Jehovah had been doing in my life. My gratitude to God and to those who had shown me the way was overwhelming. But fear — fear of what people would think or do — kept me from sharing the way I wanted to.

It was years later when I discovered a Christian 12-Step group. I wasn't interested at first, because I had heard plenty of negative things about groups like that. But when I came to realize that 12-Step taught the very same things I had been learning by the grace of Christ, I decided to give it a try. It was there that I found the safe, warm place I needed — a place where I could share the wonderful victories that God was working in my life.

The psalmist knew exactly that feeling:

"Let the redeemed of Jehovah say so, whom He has redeemed from trouble." ( Psalm 107:2 )

And again:

"Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what He has done for my soul." ( Psalm 66:16 )

There's something in genuine transformation that simply cannot stay quiet. It wants to be told.

Vigilance

When I think about the last part of Step 12 — "we tried to practice these principles in everything we do" — the word that comes to mind is vigilance. One dictionary defines it as "the quality or state of being watchful and alert to danger or trouble." Since the beginning of my recovery in 1994, I have spent a great deal of time studying, praying, and contemplating exactly what it is that makes the difference between gaining the victory over the sins that so easily trip me up — and not.

Paul described it plainly:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." ( Hebrews 12:1 )

In a practical sense, I've wrestled with how to describe the way this actually works in my own life. I've been wrong on two opposite extremes. The first was relying on my own fierce determination to beat temptation — expecting God to help me do it my way. For twenty-five years, that didn't work. The second was a kind of passive devotion — paying lip service to God and expecting Him to simply remove the temptations from me. That didn't work either.

What does work is holding both at the same time: being vigilant in my devotion to God — genuinely willing to do things His way — and at the same time being vigilant in resisting temptation with everything I have, no matter how little that may be. When those two things come together, God gives me the victory. James described this balance exactly:

"He gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, 'God opposes the proud but favors the humble.' So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you." ( James 4:6-8 )

That's the whole thing, right there — humility toward God and active resistance toward temptation, working together. Neither one alone is enough. Both together are everything.